Sisterhood in Ministry

Today it is a month since I left the UK. Busy times in my work context: our Parish Administrator resigns, and a new one takes up the role; my vicar prepares for his 8-week stint away as an RNZN Reserve Chaplain (last morning in church today); 

[Nyasha, members of Vestry and I send off Michael with prayers and blessings.

Rebecca (his wife) holds Isabel, whilst Michael holds Sophie; there will only be old-fashioned posted letter contact between them for the 8 weeks that Michael is away training!  

No phone - he's not sure how he's going to cope!!]

our office extension crawls haltingly towards conclusion, only 3 months late, with attendant sawing and hammering; and, alongside sermon and bible study prep, I also have 24-hours of post-ordination training (where we look at Expectation of Ourselves in Ordained Ministry, raising some interesting questions in the process), and then this week a 3-day Women’s Hui - that’s a gathering, a meeting, you might even call it a conference!

It is billed as ‘Treasuring Women in Ministry’.  And how lucky I am that the venue chosen is St John’s College, a mere mile from my church.  It has been months in the planning, the first big gathering under the auspices of the Women’s Studies Centre.  It is also the first time that women are coming together from all three tikanga of the Church of Aotearoa, New Zealand and Polynesia.  What does that mean, I hear you ask? Well, to reflect the diversity of this small nation, and its place within the wider Province that includes Polynesia (the islands of Fiji, Samoa, Tonga and Cook Islands), the church comprises three tikanga, three ‘cultures/customs’.  So we have Tikanga Pakeha (technically European New Zealanders), Tikanga Maori, and Tikanga Polynesia, (each of which has its own Archbishop!).  Given the lack of diversity within the parish of St Philip’s, here in affluent St Heliers, I find that I am much looking forward to experiencing the wider church here on my doorstop. 

They come - from all over the province; women, lay and ordained.  Around 90 in all.  There are colourful dresses worn by members of Tikanga Polynesia, and that in spite of the cold winter weather.  Fa’asega (pronounced Farsenga) has flown in from Samoa (though the fact that 2 of her 4 children are currently living in Auckland may have added extra sway), with her traditional costume and essential flower in her hair.  She is a large woman with a huge heart and personality, child number 15 in a family of 17.  There is also a group of predominantly Maori women all wearing the same scarf, the traditional Maori colours of red, black and white; I learn that they all belong to Te Manawa o te Wheke (which means ‘the heart of the octopus’), part of the Hui Amorangi (the equivalent to our ‘diocese’) in the Rotorua area.  And what a lovely group they are!  I meet Peace, Libya, Phylis, Rahera, Minnie, Lyn and Edna, and am warmly gathered into their embrace from the outstart.

On the first day there is a lot of story-telling.  So much of life seems to be about history. Well, on this day we spend time together hearing herstory!  Four individual women share their life stories, their experiences, their ministries. Two of them are in their 80s, both still active in ministry, and one of them, Ngahinu Tricklebank (81), only retired from her paid employment for the diocese 4 months ago! Another speaker is Beverley Reeves, the widow of the late Sir Paul Reeves (former Archbishop and Governor-General of New Zealand).  Their stories are inspiring, encouraging and entertaining.  They have each encountered many difficulties and obstacles in life, not inconsiderable prejudice, too, both against gender and race. We are all moved.  As each speaker finishes their piece, the members of Te Manawa o te Wheke rise and serenade them with a waiata (a song).

[Numia thanks Annette Gilchrist (aged 87) for her story;

in front you can see the Hope Chest mentioned below]

I am taken aback by how much I need ‘treasuring’ – not for my ministry, but for myself as a human being.  I arrive in an emotionally vulnerable state, unsure why (though it is perhaps possible that I am grieving for those I have once again left behind in the UK).  I feel rather tearful.  So the warm embrace of complete strangers is a gentle balm.  At the end of each session we all walk 100 yds outside to the refectory for morning coffee/lunch/afternoon tea.  And each time I find that there is someone for me to walk with and talk with, and slowly I feel healing of sorrow I didn’t know I was feeling…..  I acknowledge here the kindness of Anne, Rochelle, Jean, Annette, and May.

Day 2, having established a safe and caring environment together, we tackle some more challenging issues – Urban Mission (‘Justice through Service’), Controversial Issues in Women’s Health (primarily Abortion and its after-effects), and the question of sexuality (LGBT) and the troubled reception of same within the church.  In our diverse small groups we find just how much common ground we share, and wonder how it can be that outside these four walls there so often appears to be nothing but division and undermining within church matters.

I miss the morning of Day 3 (a long-standing commitment to a tennis match) and arrive in time for the conclusion of the envisioning for the role/place of women in the church in the next decade or so – led by our (female) Dean of Auckland Cathedral.  Do we want to be ‘men in skirts’ in order to take our place at the top table? How can we find new ways of gaining recognition for the valuable ministry of women, lay and ordained?  How can we ensure that the unity of purpose and shared concerns that we now know exists across the three Tikanga continues once we leave the Hui and return to our normal lives?

We close, fittingly, with our Hope Chest.  On arrival each of us has placed in it something special to us.  Now three of these are chosen as further ‘stories’ of hope.  One of them is mine.  I have brought Penelope, my Kiwi, a birthday gift knitted for me by American Julie and received by post back in February.  Penelope is a symbol both of friendship and of this new life that Roy and I are sharing with new communities out here.  My story seems to resonate with the group who nod and smile in encouragement.  

['Penelope']

Annette Cater (who's only 31, Michael's contemporary, and is from the rather beleaguered Christchurch), is leading the session; she gives us each a slip of card and asks us to write on one side the name of someone who has meant something special to us over the days of the Hui (I choose May), and on the other side a prayer/thought/prophecy in one sentence.  We each read these out in our giant circle before Annette gives us a taonga (treasure) made by her.  Each is different. Mine is a brooch with a picture of a woman and the word ‘Daughter’ (Mark 5), on it.  Wow.

[I'm at the back, in the middle in pink; Fa'asega is in the front on the right;

you can just make out the coloured scarves worn by members of

Te Manawa o te Wheke]

It is time to leave.  Lots of goodbyes to say.  I swap details with various people including Shona who, I discover, lives in Orakei along Tamaki Drive and who is available for midweek coffee. 'What's your email address?' I ask.  'It's shona@ihug.co.nz,' she replies.  I can't quite believe it.  What an address - ihug!  I do indeed.  What an affirmation.  

I come home and look at my little glass square that Mandy gave me as I left last year.  'Big hug', it says.

I feel treasured all over again…….